Wake up, iSheep

Wake up, iSheep

Unless you were living under a rock, or are not technologically inclined, you would have definitely heard of Apple launching the all new iPhone 5 last month. The phone premièred with much fanfare, an incredibly normal behaviour typically associated with Apple announcements. Today, we are not going to discuss the features of the iPhone, as you most definitely would have known it by heart by now. There’s no doubt that the iPhone 5 is a great phone, but how ‘great’ is it really?. We are going to analyse some of its less impressive aspects and some of the “facts” cooked up by Tim Cook and his showmen.

MYTH 1: The iPhone 5, at 7.6mm, is the thinnest phone ever.

FACT:   The iPhone is thin, incredibly thin, but it is definitely not the thinnest phone ever. The Huawei Ascend P1 S was 6.68mm at the thinnest point, but was not uniformly thin. The Oppo Finder, on the other hand, is 6.65 at the thinnest point and 7.1mm at the thickest. Does this really matter? Not really. But isnt Apple lying then? Most certainly. Myth busted.

MYTH 2: The iPhone 5 has the world’s most advanced display.

FACT: The amount of superlatives used by Apple when it shows off its phone makes me throw up. Ok, give credit when deserved. But not while displaying every feature. And please dont lie. I would love to explain how the iPhone 5 might not be the world’s most advanced display, but will rather let a photo do the talking. Here we go.

Myth Busted.

MYTH 3: Apple maps are the most beautiful, powerful ever.

FACT: Ok. This is Apple’s best attempt at humour. Most powerful ever? Really?

Users are directed onto airport runways, asked to drive right through shopping malls, landmarks disappear, towns relocated, hospitals replaced by supermarkets, an entire city in the ocean, countries losing their capitals and so on and so forth. It might be hilarious for us, but not for those who might be religiously following their maps and ending up in the middle of nowhere. Infact, if you look closely at the Apple maps logo, it asks you to take a sharp left and jump off the bridge. Yeah right!

I have included a link at the end of this article which shows Apple Maps’ hilarious blunders. Enjoy :)

Tim Cook has since apologised to Apple users and has recommended usage of rival maps till Apple gets its act together. Apple has also reduced the use of superlatives, albeit just in the case of its “most powerful” Maps description

It is good, although, to see Apple speak the truth once in a while. Myth Busted.

MYTH 4: “Designed with an unprecedented level of precision, iPhone 5 combines an anodized aluminum body with diamond cut chamfered edges and glass inlays for a truly incredible fit and finish.”

REALITY: In iPhone5, Apple replaced steel with aluminium. The result? The phone is now 20gms lighter. But at what cost? It now gets scratches on its body pretty effortlessly. In fact, many iPhone users spent hundreds of dollars on their jewel-like device, only to find it already scuffed! Out of the box! Don’t believe me? Just search for iPhone 5 “scuffgate” and you will get a fair amount of information about this.

And Apple VP Phil Schiller’s response to this? “Any aluminium product may scratch or chip with use, exposing its natural silver color. That is normal”. It reminds me of the Antennagate issue in the iPhone 4, where iPhone users suffered from signal reception problems on their phone and Steve jobs response was that they were just holding it wrong! Typical Apple response. Every Apple blunder is “normal”, unless they suggest otherwise.

Now the typical user response would be “We cover the Phone with a plastic case anyway.” Well, good luck with that and let me remind you that the iPhone 5 that requires a case to keep it looking pretty is not light and thin at all. In fact, it is a chubby little kid. So much for the thinnest smartphone tag. Sigh.

Myth Busted.

MYTH 5: “The new camera has been completely redesigned with incredible optical performance”

REALITY: The most popular camera in the world (as quoted by Apple) cannot take pictures in the presence of bright light without introducing a purple flare in the pictures. That’s right. A purple haze in your snapped shots. And guess what Apple’s response to this is? Its normal. Of course.

Here is the reply from Debby, an Apple Care support representative, to an iPhone 5 user:

“Our engineering team just gave me this information and we recommend that you angle the camera away from the bright light source when taking pictures. The purple flare in the image provided is considered normal behavior for iPhone 5’s camera.” We all love purple, dont we?

Now how the hell put the sun over there? I just want to click a goddamn picture.

Myth Busted.

Now I could go on and discuss other minor problems like static lines over the onscreen keyboard while entering passwords, WiFi issues, light leakage etc, but I am honestly tired. Either its me with this super low stamina, or its maybe one of the buggiest Apple releases ever. I cannot speak for others, but I am glad that I didnt waste hundreds of dollars on this shiny new device.

Finally, here is the link that I had promised some time ago. I am sure it will tickle your funny bone. Enjoy.

Story sources include: WPCentral and GSMArena as well.


Computer Engineer from Mumbai, India; loves the beauty of metro UI and the openness of Android. Likes helping people with their phone purchases, is the lead graphical designer at sevenplusandroid, and is thoroughly enjoying his time at Techin5. Contact me on twitter at @Cri5_09
  • http://www.facebook.com/bestamit Amit Dattatraya Kulkarni

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